Tuesday’s are harder for me than any other day of the week. I think it’s when I really feel the impact of running a one car family. It’s also my late night at work. I’m relieved that I no longer work the evening shift where I’m out until 10 or 11pm anymore. I did that twice a week for many years and it just wore me out.
Tuesday’s are our staff meetings at work. The staff meetings are not unpleasant so I really don’t know why they stress me out. We start every staff meeting with a community meeting. This is where we go around the table and answer the following three questions.
- How are we feeling today?
- What are our goals for today?
- Who is going to help us or who are we going to go to for help if needed?
These are three very hard questions for me. The first one seems easy enough but every Tuesday I search my brain for the right emotion – confused? frustrated? happy? tired? sad? None of these ever really seems to fit. Empty and blah most often fit the bill along with a little panicked and feeling like I’m put on the spot.
What are our goals for today? Goals – everyone seems to have them but if you don’t know where you are going, how do you know what steps you need to take? Granted they are looking for short-term goals preferably goals for that day. I feel like my goals are always the same at work – catch up on casenotes, schedule visits, catch up on casenotes, etc.
Who is going to help? If I don’t know where I’m going, how do I know what help to ask for and who to ask? I know I’m over thinking this but on Tuesday’s my ADHD seems to overwhelm and drown me.
I’ve also been having to ask for help with transportation to work on Tuesday. I get done after the daycare is closed. My husband gets done at a time that I am busy at work. I’ve been asking co-workers for rides but I always feel like I’m being a pain when I ask. The ride is pleasant and it’s nice to share that drive with someone so that’s not the problem. I also enjoy the ride home with my husband and daughter but there is always my insecurity that I am either a pain or a failure because we don’t have two cars.
“Stinking Thinking” is what brings me down on Tuesdays.