trouble picking a resolution

So i’m really struggling with my new year’s resolution.  I veered off track with my resolution last year but I have to say i think I was successful.  I am much happier than I was this time last year.  My mental health is better.  The OCD got in the way of the resolution but in way this was for the best as I’m freer than ever with the OCD and am able to do things I never could have done a year ago.

I want to continue on being happier.  I also want to continue decluttering.  I’ve thought about promising to get rid of 1 item per day as a fellow blogger has done.  I’ve also thought about committing to one healthy smoothie a day or trying to be healthier and lose some weight.  I’ve also considered retrying the Better than Chocolate assignments.  I just don’t really know.  I could also try focusing on overcoming more with the OCD or how to be a successful adult with ADHD.

I would love to write more helpful posts on ADHD and OCD and write about what has helped me.  Maybe I could give myself assignments tackling my barriers and write about this.

My biggest barrier right now is getting mentally healthy to lose the weight.  I’m a real large girl who wants to be healthier but the OCD is blocking me right now.  So much trauma and drama about weight in my life.

I would love to save money so reduce and reuse are huge for me.  I need to stop buying things so maybe to keep things fresh i could focus on a new area each week.

  • spending fasts
  • sugar fasts
  • declutter sessions
  • OCD assignment
  • ADHD assignment
  • happiness assignment

Dabble in each so I don’t give up or get bored.  don’t do it all at the same time but shake things up when I start to get discouraged in one area?  Maybe I could go a week without spending any money (with the exception of gas).  The next week go without sugar, next week declutter 30 items, next week address an OCD fear or compulsion, next week work on addressing my ADHD.

I don’t know – I need help.

Happier, healthier, more money saved, better mental health.  most I’m already working on.

have some fun and create some art!  that would be a great resolution!  design something each week?  could be interesting.

write a book?  don’t know what I’d write.  ideally it would be on parenting or mental health.  – or could be fiction.  drama and trauma?

write a book with my daughter?  short mysteries with a spunky little detective?  she would enjoy this.  illustrated by her.  written by us.

my husband and I would like to have another baby – i’ve told him that if we can free up enough space in our home, if i can get my ocd and adhd under enough control that i can go off my meds and if I could lose 100 pounds that we could have another child.  sounds like craziness there.  We are getting there with freeing up space.  I could manage the ocd for quite awhile without meds, the adhd is harder.  the weight loss is hard though.  at 315 – pregnancy would be tough.  I was overweight when I was pregnant with my daughter and that was tough.  now i’m bigger.  it hurt to walk last time – it would be worse this time.


Breakfast Smoothie

The smoothies are addictive – hopefully they are a healthier alternative to my normal breakfast.  what am i saying – of course they are.  definately better than cereal or a bagel with cream cheese.

anyway – here is what i threw in it

  • 1 stalk of celery
  • 1 apple without the core but with the skin
  • 1 banana
  • a handful of baby carrots
  • yogurt
  • splash of milk
  • spinach
  • flaxseed meal


I love the mixture of celery, carrots, apple and banana.  it’s refreshing.

i gotta say i’m impressed with my hand blender


It’s so easy to clean – just run tap water over it right after using and it rinses real well.


Dessert Smoothie

we are junk food junkies in our home. my daughter and I love our icecream. My husband stated that we needed to work on our fitness as he was exhausted from chasing our runaway dog. I stated we also needed to start eating healthier. my daughter started fussing stating she loves candy and doesn’t want to give it up. I stated she didn’t have to give up candy but she would have to start eating healthier as well. so tonight instead of ice cream i made a purple smoothie.
■a handful of frozen blueberries
■5 frozen strawberries
■a banana
■flaxseed meal
■some milk


Dinner was also oddly satisfying. Monday, My husband and I chopped up broccoli, colored peppers, celery, carrots, cucumbers, onions, radishes, (the tomatos didn’t hold up well) and some mozerella cheese and placed them in small ziplock bags and put them into a larger bag. We filled another bag with romaine, iceberg and spinach. Having a large salad was never easier. My daughter and I paired it with roasted pepper and tomato soup. We also had some leftover Christmas ham.

It was so funny that she was grumbling about eating healthier while chomping down on salad and vegetable soup.


Green Smoothie and Hungry for Change

So i tried my first green smoothie today!  it looks kind of gross but tastes surprisingly refreshing and yummy.


here is what I added:

  • spinach and romaine
  • carrots
  • cucumber
  • 5 frozen strawberries
  • vanilla yogurt
  • flaxseed meal
  • little bit of water

I blended it all together with my new hand blender and drank it up.

I’m sold.

Here is a website I’m sure to come back to:  30 Delicious Green Smoothie Recipes


Hungry for Change

I was looking for a documentary to watch so I surfed through Netflix and found Hungry for Change.  This movie is a world changing way I look at food type of movie.  I loved it and want to watch it again.

Sugar is my drug and apparently many people’s drug.  Now there is a handful of food additives that I am more likely to avoid – aspartame, high fructose corn syrup, MSG and sugar.  the crazy thing is that many of these foods are addictive, high calorie and nutritionally void.  so in other words we eat and eat and eat and our bodies continue to be hungry while we get fatter.

a helpful bit of advice in this film is to think about getting healthier by changing the mindset: “I want that but I can’t have it” to “I can have it but I don’t want it”  Another piece of wisdom this film offers is to not think about taking things away or depriving yourself but instead add the healthy options in so eventually the healthy items take up more than the unhealthy ones and then eventually you’ll have no room for the unhealthy ones.

I’m going to try this part from the movie – while looking into my eyes through the use of a mirror I will say, “I accept myself unconditionally right now”  I will say this every day until I believe it and live it.

Here are the rest of the notes I jotted down from the film:

Helpful detoxifying foods:

Parsley, Cilantro, Aloe vera, Chia seeds

Veggies good in vegetable juices

Celery, Cucumber, Dark green leafy vegetables such as kale, spirulina, radishes, coconut products

People in Hungry for change:

Mike Adams – natural news, Jason Vale – Juice Master, Joe Cross – fat, sick and nearly dead, Kris Carr – crazy sexy cancer and crazy sexy diet, David Wolfe, Daniel Vitalis, Dr. Christiane Northrup – women’s bodies, women’s wisdom, Jon Gabriel – the Gabriel method, Frank Ferrante – may I be frank, Dr. Alejandro Junger – Clean, Dr. Joseph Mercola, Evita rampart

I definately plan on looking them all up to learn more.

Books to read:

Diets don’t work, Clean, 7 lbs in 7 days, The funky fresh juice book, Turbo Charge your life in 14 days, Keeping it Simple! Over 100 juice and smoothie recipes, What the World Eats, The Gabriel Method

Allergies and Deficiencies

To say that I’m frustrated is the understatement of the year.  I really struggle with my vitamin D levels.  When my vitamin D is low (when I don’t take supplements) my fibromyalgia is terrible.  I suffer from all over muscular/ skeletal pain and all over feelings of malaise.  Months ago I learned that vitamin D3 is made out of lanolin.  I’m allergic to lanolin – hives, welts, etc.  Since I’ve started taking the supplements the majority of the pain is gone however I have other ongoing problems that I can only imagine is from ingesting something that is poisonous to me – headaches, nausea, sore throat, itchy skin.

Fish oil and exposure to the sun is equally problematic to me because both make me very sick as well.  Today I found a vegan Vitamin D3 online at so I ordered them.

Nature’S Plus Source Of Life Garden Vitamin D3 – 60 – Veg/Cap

It’s made out of mushrooms which are disgusting but i don’t believe are something that I am allergic to so here’s hoping!

Hand Sanitizer

I found a new recipe to try out when I get the chance!

Natural Antibacterial Hand Sanitizer

  • 2 parts aloe gel
  • 1 part distilled water
  • 1 part grain alcohol – vodka
  • 4-5 drops essential oil

Mix it all together and put into a squeeze bottle or  mini spray bottle.

Recommended oils to try:  tea tree, lemon, lavender,

Poison Ivy Relief

So I woke up Friday morning with a “lovely” little patch of poison ivy rash on my face.  I don’t know how I got it but it’s there.  Normally this would cause my OCD to go into overdrive but I’m working on taking it in stride.

So there is a small cluster of the red hot itchy blisters on my thumb, two sections on my face (probably from the spot on my thumb) and it’s been slowly spreading out to other places (my side, arm, leg, etc).  Poison ivy is probably the number 1 reason I hate being outside.

Yesterday morning I woke up and felt terrible.  this wasn’t good because I had a celebration I was attending and photographing.  I remembered that I had just purchased some Dickenson Witch Hazel from Walmart the other day to use once my current toner runs out.  I remembered reading on the bottle that it temporarily relieves minor skin irritations due to: Minor cuts — Minor scrapes — Insect bites.  Now I don’t know about minor but poison ivy is definately a skin irritation.

I gotta say it helped take away much of the burning pain.  So today I looked online to see what else Witch hazel can help with and found this article:

15 Wonderful Uses for Witch Hazel.  Gotta say I’m impressed.