I Resolve to…

I resolve to make baby sets to becoming a healthier, happier me.
  1. I will eat a little less fast food and a little less sugar.
  2. I will help others a little more this year.
  3. I will acknowledge others when I notice they are doing a good job.
  4. I will be kinder to myself and to my daughter.
  5. I will talk a little less and listen a little more.
  6. I will smile a little more this year.
  7. I will be a little better of a person than I was last year.
  8. I will make time for activities I enjoy and spend a little less time on activities that I do not enjoy
  9. I will save a little bit out of each paycheck.
  10. I will move my body a little more.

This year it was hard to pick a resolution.  I mean last year I started this blog on New Year’s Day.  My resolution for last year was

My goal for this year is to practice a new skill each week.  The areas I’m going to focus on are skills to help build my happiness levels and my self-esteem.  I’m also going to work on skills to reduce my complaining and lessen my anxiety.

I had planned on following, “Better than Chocolate.  50 proven ways to feel happier” and “Sink Reflections” Did I use these books last year?  Yes but I didn’t stick with them as I had originally planned.  My OCD threw a monkey wrench in and I was determined not to let my OCD stop me from accomplishing my goal.  I practiced new skills, I built my self-esteem and I am much happier.  Most days I complain less and I did lessen my anxiety.  I still need improvement in all those areas but it was definitely a successful year for me.

As I was searching internet for resolution inspiration I found a great blog post by Curtis Silver titled 10 New Year’s Resolutions for Everyone Else.  I especially liked #2 which is Start talking to your kid’s toys like they do.  and #1 Remember that every moment is a New Year.  You just have to make it happen.  I also found that USA.gov has a page for popular New Year’s resolutions.  It has 13 popular goals and it links to information to help you reach those goals.

I was starting to feel desperate, like I just needed to say my goal was something, anything.  I almost used a New Year’s resolution generator to pick a resolution.  But I know what I’d like to accomplish.  I want to continue to progress to a happier, healthier me so if I take baby steps I know I will be successful.

I think I will also make an effort to work on Fly Lady’s habit of the month which for January happens to be Shine Your Sink.  As I type this though I can see my kitchen sink and counter.  They are not shiney – they are yucky.  dirty dishes like crazy.  it seems like they multipy faster than rabbits.  Have you ever wanted to throw away all your dishes but one set per person?  You’d have to wash them after each use or else you would have no dishes to eat off of.

 

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trouble picking a resolution

So i’m really struggling with my new year’s resolution.  I veered off track with my resolution last year but I have to say i think I was successful.  I am much happier than I was this time last year.  My mental health is better.  The OCD got in the way of the resolution but in way this was for the best as I’m freer than ever with the OCD and am able to do things I never could have done a year ago.

I want to continue on being happier.  I also want to continue decluttering.  I’ve thought about promising to get rid of 1 item per day as a fellow blogger has done.  I’ve also thought about committing to one healthy smoothie a day or trying to be healthier and lose some weight.  I’ve also considered retrying the Better than Chocolate assignments.  I just don’t really know.  I could also try focusing on overcoming more with the OCD or how to be a successful adult with ADHD.

I would love to write more helpful posts on ADHD and OCD and write about what has helped me.  Maybe I could give myself assignments tackling my barriers and write about this.

My biggest barrier right now is getting mentally healthy to lose the weight.  I’m a real large girl who wants to be healthier but the OCD is blocking me right now.  So much trauma and drama about weight in my life.

I would love to save money so reduce and reuse are huge for me.  I need to stop buying things so maybe to keep things fresh i could focus on a new area each week.

  • spending fasts
  • sugar fasts
  • declutter sessions
  • OCD assignment
  • ADHD assignment
  • happiness assignment

Dabble in each so I don’t give up or get bored.  don’t do it all at the same time but shake things up when I start to get discouraged in one area?  Maybe I could go a week without spending any money (with the exception of gas).  The next week go without sugar, next week declutter 30 items, next week address an OCD fear or compulsion, next week work on addressing my ADHD.

I don’t know – I need help.

Happier, healthier, more money saved, better mental health.  most I’m already working on.

have some fun and create some art!  that would be a great resolution!  design something each week?  could be interesting.

write a book?  don’t know what I’d write.  ideally it would be on parenting or mental health.  – or could be fiction.  drama and trauma?

write a book with my daughter?  short mysteries with a spunky little detective?  she would enjoy this.  illustrated by her.  written by us.

my husband and I would like to have another baby – i’ve told him that if we can free up enough space in our home, if i can get my ocd and adhd under enough control that i can go off my meds and if I could lose 100 pounds that we could have another child.  sounds like craziness there.  We are getting there with freeing up space.  I could manage the ocd for quite awhile without meds, the adhd is harder.  the weight loss is hard though.  at 315 – pregnancy would be tough.  I was overweight when I was pregnant with my daughter and that was tough.  now i’m bigger.  it hurt to walk last time – it would be worse this time.

 

Pleasantly Exhausted

Today was a successful yard sale day!  the beginning was questionable as it was super wet and very chilly.  we were determined however because my husband had taken the time off of work and we had no other choice but to go ahead or else wait until next month.  the ad was paid for, the signs were up and the items priced.

here are the positives –

  • 1/2 the shed is still full of items to be gotten rid of but nothing was brought back into the house except empty totes to be filled with more unwanted clutter and items that belonged in the house.
  • I got the opportunity to spend the day with a fantastic person and got to meet lots more wonderfully interesting people.
  • I got to see my mom! and my daughter got to spend some lovely time with her as my mom helped us out by taking her to a birthday party at the skating rink.
  • we made enough money to purchase our fire pit plus extra – we are thinking A/C unit as I detest the heat (the gazebo was already purchased with pre-sales and a lovely anniversary giftcard from my wonderful sister).
  • my daughter made a whooping $50 plus by selling her items.  This means she is able to purchase all three items on her wish list – a stuffed Club Penguin puffle toy, Kinectimals for the Kinect and a water table.  a super duper positive is that these items take up sooooooooooooo much less room than the items that were sold.  LOVE IT!
  • my daughter was able to receive her new bike from us today – we offered her a deal she couldn’t refuse – we pre-purchased a new bike for her – larger than her current bike, fancier too with sparkly streamers coming out of the handle bars – no training wheels and in her favorite colors no less.  We put this in the shed.  We purchased her a 6-month Club Penguin membership.  then we offered her $1 per item that she put into the yard sale to be put towards these two Shiney, enticing prizes that she couldn’t refuse.  She earned both with flying colors.

Tonight I’m sitting in my home – it’s messy and things need to be straightened and put away but it feels SO much bigger.  Clutter makes spaces smaller and crowded.  Declutter is the best way to make a small home bigger.  I can twirl and dance around in my family room should I so chose.

There is so much space and I’m in a little bit of shock, a lot of bit of awe and all over relief.  this is going to be so much easier to clean.  this will give me more time to have fun with my family!  how happy is that!

today i was also able to joke about things with the people that i met and the people i spent time with today!  it felt good – joked about my OCD (as it’s not crippling me – thank u Dr. L and the medicine that’s working), joked about me, joked about life.  it felt good to laugh and just be happy.

today i spent the entire time outside.  this is HUGE!  6:30 – 8pm setting up then 8-4 yard sale then 4-9 dinner and games in the gazebo.  all day and i’m still alive and well – (with the exception of a sun burn).  all day outside and i’m still happy.  life is good.

pocket full of money to buy what we really want, 100’s less items in my house so clutter banished, and an enjoyable day.

tomorrow i think i’ll spend 15 minutes cleaning up the kitchen, 15 minutes in zone 1 (the entrance, front porch and dining room) and then relax and enjoy time with my daughter.

Fly Lady’s habit for the month is drinking water so i’m going to give this a shot – maybe more water will help with my on-going health problems (multiple UTIs since February) and give me a glowing complexion.  Did you know that drinking water can help you lose weight, helps you get rid of headaches, makes you look younger, relieves fatigue better than coffee and can put you in a better mood?  there are many incredible benefits from this “simple” act.

I learned this years ago and it still sounds true – do you know how much water to drink per day?  many people know the 8 glasses of 8oz of water.  I learned that you should take your weight then divide it by half (200lbs divided by 2 is 100).  there you have the daily fluid ounces.  so the 8×8 makes sense if you do the math.  An average person of 128 pounds would need to drink 64 ounces per day.

Here is a great water calculator that I found!  It equaled my above method for determining water requirements.

Day 56 – Reflection

I just finished reading through my blog from day 1.  55 days have already been completed of 2012.  I have had successes and failures.  A big thing I’ve learned is that reading makes me happy.  It activates my brain and gets me thinking and dreaming.  It gets me talking and learning.  I love to read.

I’ve spent the last few days cleaning up my web presence.  How we present ourselves to the world is very important.  How do you want to present yourself?  Here are things that I am passionate about and would love for people to know about me.

  1. Family is important as is our children.  Teaching people better ways to interact with their children is something that I love.  I love to teach this and I love to learn this.  Everyone can learn to be a better parent.  Everyone can learn to be a better person.
  2. Hobbies are important – I love photography and graphic design.  I love art and making beautiful images.
  3. What I do for a living is important – to me and the people that I work with.

I recently found a quote by Ellen Degeneres that speaks to who I am, “I stand for honesty, equality, kindness, compassion, treating people the way you want to be treated, and helping those in need.  To me, those are traditional values.”  This struck a chord with me because isn’t this the way we should all be living?  You could boil this down to two simple words –  BE NICE!

UPDATES:

  1. So my daughter is doing well – she probably just has a heightened sensitivity to growing pains.  There is also a vitamen D deficiency.
  2. My computer is fixed!  My beautiful laptop is fixed and home with me.  It was a serious fix and I’m glad that we bought the coverage.

ZONE WORK:

We’ve been working on freeing up space.  I’ve sold my computer desk.  We are pulling aside items for a yard sale.  I want to know what I’d do if I freed up the space?  If the clutter is gone then what do I use the space for?

New Year’s Resolutions

I recently read two articles about the same thing but the take away from the articles were completely different.  They were both about January 1 and the setting of New Year’s resolutions.  Depending on my mood of the moment I could easily relate to either one.

First article talked about how we place so much importance on that first day of the year when we could place that level of importance on everyday to make each day count.  The question was why wait until January 1st to start making a change in our lives and why do we put so much value on just the one day?  Every day can be January first and all squares on the calendar are created equal.  This is really powerful because we can just restart anytime we want to.  Take a day, a week or even a month off isn’t the end of the world and you are not a failure for not following your resolutions if you choose to pick it back up.  You don’t have to wait until a magic day, the first of the year, to make a resolution and work on it.  You are not really behind because it’s a work in progress and you can always start back up.

Even as I write this though I feel my world shaded by the second article – the more negative article.  The article about my ADHD self and the broken promises to myself.  With ADHD it is so easy to make promises and goals and resolutions.  The heart is there, the passion is there, the desire to finally stop being the messed-up procrastinating person that I am.  Lofty goals and commitments to family, friends and co-workers makes every day feel like January 1.  How many goals have I set and failed at?  The promise to be good and the eventually backslide as the disorder presents itself.

I think the key is to set realistic goals, short term goals, and to be nice to myself.  I may never write that book or become a dancer or become insanely popular with tons of friends but I do have good things going for me.  Right now my plan is to take things one day at a time and one bite sized goal at a time.

Acceptance and the desire to do better.  Knowing that I can’t get rid of my ADHD but can learn to work with it.  The love of my husband and daughter.  This is happiness.

Week 1 Complete! Benefits:

Creating a Happiness List

When I look at my happiness list I realized that it doesn’t cost very much money for me to add happy activities to my day, every day.  The most expensive thing on my list is the subscription cost to Netflix or the text messaging plan on my phone.  More than 3/4 of the list is absolutely free! 

For the things that make me happy again most are items that I already own.  Food items are relatively cheap.  I can surround myself with happy things with very little effort or expense.

Zone 1: Kitchen, Dining Room and Entrance

My dining room is now free from Christmas items, the outside area around my door is raked, straightened and clutter free creating a much more welcoming sight and the entrance room looks bigger.  I found our missing shed keys, the ice scraper for our vehicle and cleaned out the lint from around our dryer.  Lawn furniture is put away in the shed and the table is to the curb.  PLUS, PLUS and PLUS. 

I declare week 1 to be a success!

Day 4 – To Think About

“It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.”

– Agnes Repplier

Yesterday I told a few people about my happieness goal for 2012 and how I’d like to be less negative and more positive.   The response was confusion and the statement that they didn’t think that I was a negative person.  It made me wonder how many people do we know that appear happy and pulled together but really aren’t on the inside?  Often I feel that if I could bottle up all my negativity inside and throw it away that I would fill a rather large trash can.

Yesterday I read an article on what does not bring happiness and it all could be applied to the above quote – fame, wealth, power.  These items can all be taken away or could carry such heavy negative burdens that just having them does not mean that you will be happy.

My husband could make me happy but he could leave.  My daughter could make me happy but it’s not her job and children push parents away, make bad decisions sometimes and eventually they grow up and move away.  The only one who is constantly with me is me so that is really where I need to find my happiness.  That way it’s always there and I am in control.

My sister passed this quote along this morning – “cherish the moments that make each day special.”  She stated that it helps her see the day in a different light as it pulls the good out above the bad.  I know that when you look for the bad in things it’s what pops out all over.  I know the opposite to be true as well.  To be happy I think we need to find more good than bad in whatever situation we find ourselves in.

Homework Goals for today:

  1. continue thinking about the happiness list and find a place to hang it up in the house
  2. spend another 15 minutes working in zone 1

Day 2 – Finding Inspiration through Books

New Year’s Eve I was feeling very crummy.  I was upset because I felt as though I wasn’t where I should be or even who I should be.  It’s really crappy feeling that way because the more you think about it the more you can justify your feelings.  I was wallowing in my stinking thinking.  I read “Better than Chocolate” by Siimon Reynolds and as I was reading though this book I realized that I didn’t have to feel so negative anymore.  Just because I lean towards being a negative person doesn’t mean that I have to accept it.

Today I reread through the goals I made for myself and am thinking about how to implement them into my life.  I’m a big crash and burn type of gal.  I tend to make lofty save the world type of goals and have big expectations of myself.   I want to fix everything all at once and make everything instantly better.  This doesn’t work so well.  I’m an adult with ADHD – the best of intentions but I get overwhelmed easily and give up frequently.

I started this blog with the intent to track my progress and keep myself motivated through 2012.

This book has 50 different ways to feel happier and there are 52 weeks in a year so if I try a new one each week I may actually make some progress.

I’m also going to be working out of this book:

This is Sink Reflections by Marla Cilley (the FlyLady).  My home as a whole is a large source of stress for me.  It feels cluttered and unfinished.  It feels like it’s patched together, unorganized and mismatched.

Fly Lady sets up our homes into 5 zones.  I really want to sweep through my house like a crazy banshi and do a whirlwind cleaning session but this won’t work – i always putter out, it gets messy in my wake, it’s not fun.  I’m going to follow the zone cleaning with Fly Lady and take one zone each week.  I will declutter, clean and organize that zone and not allow myself to feel bad about the others until it’s their week.

Since it’s the first week of the month we are in zone 1.  Zone 1 covers the entrance, the front porch and dining room.

Here is how I’m going to use the Power of 15 today to help me towards my goals.

I’m going to spend 15 minutes starting on the first activity in Better Than Chocolate and then I’m going to spend 15 minutes in my entrance wiping down the grime.

Day 1 – Setting the groundwork for the new year

My Points to Remember for 2012:

  • The Power of 15!  15 can be whatever it needs to be to help me reach my goals whether it’s 15 minutes of any given activity, 15 items to get rid of, 15 notes to write.
  • Less is More!  The plan is to spend less, hold on to less.  Have less items to clean.  Spend less time doing things that I really don’t want to do and more time doing what I enjoy doing.
  • Take care of myself, my family and my home.  This includes treating myself better and thinking more positive about myself.
  • Smile and laugh more!  Be happier with who I am and where I am with my life.

My goal for this year is to practice a new skill each week.  The areas I’m going to focus on are skills to help build my happiness levels and my self-esteem.  I’m also going to work on skills to reduce my complaining and lessen my anxiety.