So what do you do when you are really REALLY angry but you don’t want to damage a relationship? I’m angry and really pissed off but I don’t want to hold onto it and I don’t want to lash out. I don’t want to do or say something that I will truely regret later. I find that with anger comes regret especially if the anger is handled improperly.
ADHD and anger is a particularly bad combination because that verbal filter is absent. It seems like when I’m angry I come down with a terrible case of verbal diarrhea. Past history has shown that I do not always know all of the facts so don’t always know why people are behaving a certain way. It’s also important to note that I rarely become upset with this person.
I’ve also learned that people cannot blame other people for their expressions of anger. My anger is MY reaction to things going on. I think much of my mood currently could be chalked up fears over my health, changing family schedules and lack of restful sleep.
Anger is a sign that something needs to change. It’s important though to take some time to figure out what it is exactly that I want to change. Could you imagine blowing up because you are pissed off then not having options thought out to how things could be better? It doesn’t sound very effective.
I’ve given it a night and 1/2 a day and here is what I’ve figured out so far.
- I feel undervalued and under appreciated. There is alot going on with my day and I definately don’t want to bore someone with all the details but I would like to be asked how my day went.
- I work hard at my job and I do so for my family – to pay bills and such. If I have to work late occasionally then I occasionally need help with things like dinner.
- Processing how my daughter’s day went and following up on homework with her is important. I shouldn’t be the only one doing this.
- Family time is important. Don’t do something while we are all home that you should have done when we were all gone but didn’t.
- Unpleasant tasks should at least be shared. Don’t dump all the work on me especially when I work too.
- Acknowledge that I need help and support because I’m scared, worried and exhausted. On-going health problems wears a person out especially without support.
Ah – the “joys” of being a woman.