Books

So I’m currently readingOrganize for a Fresh Startby Susan Fay West.  The book is about embracing your next chapter in your life.  The book is interesting and helpful however there are parts so far that make it very difficult for an ADDer.  Hyperfocusing helps me read through books so fast because I love to read and it captures my attention.  This book does not kick my hyperfocus into gear.  Sometimes when I believe a book may be helpful but I’m not getting into it I’ll continue to make myself read it and for this book I’m glad that I did.  I am still working on this book but have gathered some helpful information so far.

In the introduction she states, “Your life is in transition now.”  I love this line and how she goes on further to explain the difference between change and transition.  We want CHANGE and we want it now!  People must CHANGE and it’s hard – but necessary.  Without change there can be no growth.  Transition by her description better fits what is going on – there is an ending.  That chapter of your life is over.  Currently you are in limbo while you adjust and struggle with the ending and the new beginning.  Then there is a new beginning.  It takes time.  It doesn’t happen over night but is a process.

In foster care there is so much going on with the families that I work with.  Transitions fit so much better than change does.  I used this to help one of my families the other day and it was like an ah-ha moment for them and for me.  Change – change is hard for almost everyone.  There is always change and no one feels this as much as a family going through the foster care system.  When their children are removed it’s the end of that chapter.  Things cannot continue the way that it has been.  We need kids to be safe and cared for and whether through abuse or neglect the conditions are not suitable for the children.  It is the end because without change the children will not come back.  The time while the children are in care is the limbo stage.  This is the stage where the parents are trying to figure out new ways to make things work.  They know they can’t stay where they were but they are not where they need to be.  It takes time and effort and some education.  It’s very hard in the beginning but it gets easier with time.  The starting of the new chapter comes when the required skills become habit and the children can return home.

It makes me think of a dialogue in my head, “You are fine but we just want you to change everything about you!”  Sometimes I imagine this is what our birth parents feel like.  Between this book and Don’t Give Me that Attitude I’m seeing a new way of looking at this.  We want for people to take their negative behaviors and replace them with positive behaviors so that over time their attitude takes a shift towards a more positive attitude.  All of us have things we either want to change or need to change about ourselves (or else New Year’s resolutions wouldn’t be so popular).  When an outside force (CPS/CYS, or the legal system) comes in demanding the change it can be harder because change often works best when we are ready for it but some change cannot wait especially when children are involved.

Organizing is Cathartic

I love this – I often say that my home is a direct reflection of my mental health.  When my home is cluttered and chaotic that my head tends to be the same.  When my home is calm, clean and open then you know I’m feeling healthy.  Currently parts of my home are clear and calm.  The corners though and the family room are a bit chaotic so I think it fits.  Organizing and purging are very cathartic for me.  I hold onto things that I have emotional attachments to.  I love FlyLady because she has helped me get rid of so much BAGGAGE.  She encourages people to bless others (get rid of) anything that makes you feel sad (or any other negative emotion).  Clean House has helped me get rid of things that were for memories.  And this book has helped me understand the process.

Organizing Focuses you on what’s Important

I still don’t know who I am or what really sparks my interest.  I believe that as I reshape the rooms in my home that I’ll slowly find myself.  I want clean, clear spaces so that I can grow and develop past a person just going through the motions of life.  I want to find that path to what really TRIGGERS my hyperfocus (in a good way of course) so that I can produce something amazing.

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